Again

April 2006, I had a nine-month-old.  I sat on mine and my husband's bed in tears.  I wanted another baby, but with all the injections, pills, and surgery it took to get this sweet nine-month-old, would we be able to give him a sibling?  I cried to my husband and to God that I couldn't go through it all again.  I wasn't strong enough.
God stepped in. 
The next month.  Labor Day weekend.  I took a pregnancy test early in the morning and it was positive!  I went in and told my still sleeping hubby.  He told me to take another one.  I did.  It, too, was positive.
Fast forward twenty-ish weeks.  We are in for our first ultra-sound.  Our only one planned for this not, "high risk," pregnancy.  The tech is pretty quiet.  Then, our midwife comes in.  Our newest, littlest might have Down Syndrome.  She refers us to a specialist.  The specialist can't say for sure, but doesn't see anything wrong and says we will have to wait for the birth to be sure.
Fast forward another twenty-ish weeks.  I am home with our almost eigteen-month-old.  He is napping.  I am not.  I am wrestless.  I call a friend to see if she can come over and go for a walk in the snow packed outdoors.
We head out.  I have contractions off and on for six blocks.
Back home, my oldest and I head to my mom and dad's for dinner.  My dad catches on quick.  My mom sends to me run errands.  At dinner, she, too, catches on.  We call my cousin to come get my oldest.  We hang-out.
About one a.m. we decide to head to the hospital and my mom calls my husband to say meet us at the hospital.  He is just getting off work.
He arrives in L&D as I scream.  He panics because I didn't sound like that the first time.  He comes in and rushes to my side as my midwife catches an 8 lb. 3 oz., PERFECT, baby boy.
Thank you, God!  For my six-year-old that you blessed us with one year ago this week.

Cherished

Today is the day, 13 years ago, that I asked Jesus into my heart as Lord and Savior.  I am His cherished possession.
I spent a good portion of the last 24 hours thinking about my testimony.  I love that I can go to the moment of my salvation and look backward and see faces of people who helped me come to that moment.  Faces of girls in high school that had something different about them.  I have since ran into some of those girls and asked them if they were Christians in high school and been told, "Yes, I was.  But, I didn't know how to share my faith."
I can, also, look forward from that moment and see how much I have grown and changed.  I have become a wife, a mother, a homeschooling parent, a friend and confidant to many women, a child birth educator, and doula.  I do not believe any of these roles would be possible without God.
When people are asked to share about their moment of salvation, I really want to hear them talk about how their walk has progressed from that moment.
In thinking about my salvation, I think, maybe, I should write it all down.  In a notebook?  On the computer?  Who is going to want to read it?  Hopefully, my children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren.  I hope they read it and have that moment of surrender, of knowing that you are a cherished possession just the way you are.  And, be able to look back and see the faith instruments who have allowed their lives to be a testimony to a struggling soul.  And, look forward to see God their even when I stumble, misstep, sidetrack.  He is never far away.

Dive

A new year and new challenges...
Our Pastor told us at church that he was going to challenge us to read through the Bible in a year and have accountability as part of our church family.
I thought, "I would like to finally make it through the whole thing."  Then, I left for Christmas in Kansas.
We didn't get back till after the new year.  So, I purchased a Woman's Guide to reading the Bible in a Year in a little bookstore in Lawrence.
THEN I returned home to discover in my stack of mail the reading schedule for church...  The church schedule is not the same as the book, but I already committed to the book with my BF.  SO, I'm doing the book and my church family is doing something different.
As I read, I am in chapter 30 of Genesis, I find myself reflecting on the "downward spiral of our culture."  And, thinking, "REALLY!  Did you see the mess Abraham and Jacob had going?"
I was, right before I realized I could be participating in 5 minute Fridays, reading where Leah says, "God has rewarded me for letting my husband sleep with my maid."  Which, just blows my mind.  Poor lady.
I do wonder if we will get God's commentary on our stupidity when we get to heaven.  And if Leah, Rachael, and others will be there.  Their husband is one of the fathers of our faith and in the hall of fame in Hebrews.  But, what about the wives?

Opportunity

Opportunity...
I'm thankful for my delayed opportunity to be here in this new year.  I had been disappointed when 5 Minute Fridays wrapped up for the year.  Then, in the hub-bub of the new year and with all the activities that usually occur in my week not starting back up yet, I TOTALLY spaced 5 Minute Fridays!  So, here I am, better late then never, joining in on the fun.
I had the opportunity as I was wrapping up 2012 to go to counseling with my mother-in-law.  Our last session was two Fridays before Christmas.  Although, I was, and so was my Pastor, under the impression that progress had been made, my mother-in-law apparently is/was not.  She got really upset at the end of the last session.  <sigh>
I don't know if it is because she is not a believer.  Or, she really thought is hadn't helped.  Or, it was just her mental illness having a mental illness moment.
The commercials that use to run about mental illness and how people start out with friends and loose all or most of them throughout the mental illness, I never really completely understood those commercials.  I am getting a better grip on them now.
And, it is sad.  It is sad to think that my mother-in-law, a woman pushing 70, is going to pass away some day and no one is going to miss her.  There isn't really going to be anyone to contact or a memorial service in need of being held...