After

 

I am quickly approaching an after moment.  A defining moment.
In 7 weeks, I will no longer be a resident of the state where I was born and raised.  I will no longer be a resident of the town where I have spent my whole life.
In 7 weeks, my boys and I will be joining my husband on an adventure.
My husband accepted a job a few weeks ago in Missouri.  He starts in 10 days.
The boys and I have things to finish up.  The Cub Scout year, complete with final awards.  AWANA and BSF.  The child birth class I am teaching.  They all wrap up between now and Memorial Day weekend.  Then, we are off.
I haven't thought much about after.  After we move.  After we find a new home.  After we find a new church family.  After I learn how to go about registering to home school, vote, and get a new driver's license.  Those things will come.
Today, I am looking at the, after we list our house.  It goes on the market Monday.
And, I'm living in the today.  Enjoying the boys who will not be 7, 6, and 4 forever.  My husband who willing be missing from our daily lives for a few weeks starting in 9, to short, days.
So, I'm off to live in the now...

 

Broken

 

So, I debated to do or not to do this 5 minutes.  I am late.  It is Saturday night.  Then, I read the word.  Oh, I should answer that prompt.  So, here I sit...
I attend BSF, Bible Study Fellowship.  We are studying Genesis this year.  I have had many struggles this year in my lesson.
The first big struggle, there was the struggle over fertility issues.  Is using a fertility specialist a sin?  Is my oldest son not valued?  Abraham's first son was sent away.
The newest struggle, I realized this last week that God wants all of me.  Okay, I knew this and was living under the impression that I had given Him all of me.  Then, we studied Jacob and his struggle with God.  God wanted all of Jacob and even though Jacob struggled with God and was blessed by God in having his named changed, he still continued to sin in that he did not proceed to the Promised Land immediately but took at 10 year pause.
So, my not all of me is my emotions.  I was raised with a grandma around who didn't cry.  I had a priest tell me, after my great-grandma died, that it was wrong for me to cry.  After all, Jesus had much bigger problems and didn't cry much.
I need to turn my emotions over to God.  I have in prayer given them to Him.  But, I'm finding each day that I find some more to give Him.  I want to give it all to Him now and not realize 10 years from now that I stopped part way.

 

Remember

Twelve years and five days ago it wasn't snowing.  It was gorgeous out.
We had family that didn't make the trip for fear of getting snowed in in Nebraska in March.
I got up early after sleeping on my parents' couch.  My mom and I were to meet my Maid-of-Honor and her daughter at my hair dressers.  Her salon was across the street from the bridal shop where my dress waited, in need of being picked up and delivered to Trinity Baptist Church.
After getting my hair done, Kelly helped me get my dress and we draped it across the backseat of her car.
We made it to the church and then I went to my Maid-of-Honor's hotel room to hangout with my cousins as we all continued getting ready.
Our flower girl got constipated in the excitement and nerves.
We got to the church and finished getting ready.
We had pictures of you and your family and me and my family before the wedding and pictures of us together after the ceremony.
My dad and your Best-man both asked if I was sure I wanted to go through with the wedding.  I told them both yes I was ready.
My dad prepared to walk me down the isle as Mary fixed my skirt.
Our flower girl refused to go down the isle but I told her she needed to go throw all those rose petals on the ground.  She headed down the isle with your nephew.
During the ceremony when we went to light the unity candle, we accidentally blew it out.  You are always so resourceful.  You pulled a lighter out of your pocket to relight the candle.
After the ceremony we had pictures and then went to celebrate with our family.
After eating, dancing, chatting, cutting cake, we escaped.  Just the two of us to a beautiful B&B where our high school best friends had gone to decorate the room with rose petals, candles, and a tub full of balloons.
Love you bunches.  Even more than twelve years and five days ago.

 

Rest

 

Start

I almost laughed out loud when I read the prompt.  We are not early risers here.  My husband works odd hours so we sleep in in the a.m.  But, I'm up, for the second morning in a row.  Earlier than the sun.  :-(
I'm here because we are on day two of a garage sale. 
Yesterday, I woke with the thought, "Lord, please let us survive today."
Yesterday was not restful.  I judged a homeschooling debate tournament (one round anyway) in the a.m.  We had the garage sale.  And, I started a new child birth series.  :-)  Nuts, right?
Well, no.  When God is in the middle of it, it all works together for His glory.
So, our neighbor came over to help Rick set up while I ran to the tournament.
I had lunch going in the crockpot, so, it was ready when people got hungry.
Then, the lady who was suppose to be stopping by sometime after 3 didn't make it, but that worked out to.  She came around 9 p.m. and it to worked out.
I had class.  Which is the best part of yesterday, well, it is up there anyway.  (I, also, got to see two of my doula babies.)  Even with my husband busy wrapping up the garage sale and the boys and dog running through the house.  Taking time to do what I am passionate about and tell soon-to-be mommies and daddies how to give birth without drugs helps me to focus...to unwind...to relax...

Stop

Home

START

Home has always been this town or is it a city?
I was born within walking distance of my parents' home that they had purchased just two weeks before I was born.  I lived in that two story home for 18 years.
Then, I lived in apartments and with my Grandma for three ish years.  But, I don't know that those were really "home."
When my husband and I met, the week after our wedding, we bought our first home.  It was within walking distance of my childhood home.
Then, we had three Little Men join us and we realized two bedrooms, one bathroom, and one closet weren't really fitting us.  So, we moved.
We moved to a neighborhood in my home town.  But, across town from my parents.
Then, yesterday, my husband took a job out of state.  We will be moving again.  Not within the same town.
It is my first time living outside everything familiar.  Where I can usually visualize where someone lives with very little difficulty.
Now, I am looking at houses with Mapquest open up on a screen right next to the Realtor page trying to figure out if we are within a 40 minute drive my husbands work.

STOP

Ordinary

Ordinary...
REALLY?
I often think I am ordinary.  I don't do anything special.
But, I do.
I am a home schooling mama of three boys.  My oldest is in first grade.  So, I have a large learning curve ahead of me.
I am a child birth educator and subsequently, a doula.  I love being around expecting couples and sharing with them our joys and struggles in the hope of educating them on what to expect with their little one.
I am a wife.  My husband can fix anything and reads engineering books for fun. So, our basement is full of computer pieces, electronic gizmos, model airplanes and trains that are rigged, whether they were meant to be or not, with lights, cameras, and sounds.
I am a cook.  I enjoy playing in the kitchen.  Then, we found out my youngest is allergic to pasteurized dairy.  Also, corn, pork, and sugar don't really agree with his 4-year-old belly.  So, I now figure out how to adapt our favorite recipes to meet his dietary needs.
I am a child of God.  I go to church multiple times a week, spend time in my Bible often, and especially with the deaths and cancer issues of several people I know, I find myself in prayer continually.

Tell me all about what your mama did that made her yours….

I struggled with school.  It wasn't fun and it wasn't easy.  Part of it was due to social stuff which I am, also, not good at.  Part of it was, I always choose the most difficult books to read.  I always choose the harder route. 
I would haul my backpack, packed with every book in my desk, back and forth every day.  I would study from the minute I got home until my mom declared it bedtime. 
I would end up in tears over not having it as easy as my brothers made it look.
My mom always encouraged.  And, was always happiest for me when the weekend came, or summer, or some other break from the struggles of studying.
She loved summer vacation!  She was not the mama who counted down the days till she could send her kids back to school.  She was not the mama who moaned and complained as we made messes, destroyed things, and created chaos.  She loved spending time with us.  She loved taking us to our grandparents' acreage on Friday nights for dinner of fish squares and mac and cheese.
She took us candy selling.  First, for me for Camp Fire.  Later, for all three of us as we earned our way to Camp Kitaki.  She encouraged, charted, and bribed (but in a good way, with the promise of hot chocolate) us to earn our way to camp and earn back the $50 deposit she had put down on each of our behalves.  Our money to spend as we wanted IF we earned it back.


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